Why do i love you?
by CenteredObsession
Summary: One shot ssp. Stuart is watching Sam pack to leave him for her 'dirty little secret'Phil. To Dj Bounce Why do i love you. p.s i'm not sure if it's positive totally for huxon fans or not so read and reveiw! T for some mild language


**I know i haven't finished "When it was me" yet (or even written the enxt chapter) but i wanted to write this before i lost the idea. :) I know theres a lot of Stuart haters out there. And beleiev me i'm with you, but i couldn't help fell sorry for him. Someone needs to fight his corner even if only to turn him from a phsycotic killer (as many have him down as) to human, with his faults like the rest of. ( Though he has a few more than average!) . Much as i love Phil he is just as faulty though we tend to be biassed to his good side. So that's me justifying this story before you've even read it, what does that tell you? lol enjoy (or hate it and burn it to remove all memory!) song Dj Bounce - why do i love you**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Suddenly she's  
Leaving  
Suddenly the  
Promise of love has gone   
Suddenly  
Breathing seems so hard to do **

Stuart watched Sam pack blankly. He couldn't beleive he'd been so stupid as to miss the signals. If it was the first time he'd been cheated on he could be forgiven for being gullible with the excuses, but this was the fourth time. Did he attract the lying untrustworthy type, or in Sam atleast was it just where Phil Hunter was involved that relationships crumbled around him. True Phil was no where near with the previous three but it was the Phil Hunter type, the basic species of self centred ego-tistic arrogant men that ruined his chances with what might have been the one.

Fair enough when things with Sam got heavy he backed off, got scared and ran away like a little kid. But wasn't he paying the price now? Beating himself up so continuously. Was he really to blame though? Any man would be horrified to hear,

"I'm pregnant,"

Just a few months into the relationship. After a few years maybe, but months?? You'd have to be pretty super human to be pleased. Of course, as Sam had frequently reminded him since, _Phil_ would have managed it. Phil perfect Phil who cheated and lied and loved then left never holding a long term commited relationship. Maybe that was where Stuart went wrong. He needed to drop his loyalties and just cheat, be manipulative and lie. After all it worked for Phil.

**Carefully you  
Planned it  
I got to know just  
A minute too late, oh girl  
now I understand it  
All the times we  
Made love together  
Baby you were thinking of him **

It disgusted him, made his skin crawl that Sam had been sleeping with Phil while sleeping with him. Thinking of Phil while she made love to him. With Phil when she worked late. Saying I love you, to Phil at the same time as him. His ego was greatly wounded but that wasn't all. He had genuingly loved Sam and his heart was breaking. A sharp consuming pain filled his chest making it hard to breathe and he fought back a huge desire to hit something hard. Phils face preferably, though the wall would suffice. Whatever it was it would be after Sam had left, he hoped that if she saw how mature he was compared to Hunters insolance she may return.

After all Phil's winding up of him wound Sam up didn't it? Or was that just a ruise like her love for him? He was suffering from a storm of emotions and thoughts that made no sense and battered him down to exhaustion. Damn it why did he love her? That cheating, lying, scheming bitch. Why did the sound of her voice make his heart melt? Or the scent of her perfume lifted in the air make him dizzy? Why did her glittering eyes transport him to the very depths of the ocean? And her touch force him to shiver and lose all control of senses? Why did he love her?

**Why do I love you  
Don't even want to  
Why do I love you like I do   
Like I always do  
You should've told me  
Why did you have to be untrue (love you like I do)  
Why do I love you like I do **

The excuses had hardly been original. "i have to work late" and "sorry i'm staying over at Jo's". Same old same old excuses he heard time and time again. Yet they never sparked that distrust. That was his greatest fault. He was too trusting. He was arrogant, ignorant, unsensitive and often just a little to self involved. But he was too trustin. And as for the others; well he was human.

He loved like a human, felt anger like a human, felt pain like a human and disapointment like a human. And unlike Phil he showed loyalty like a human. Humans really were weak creatures he sighed.

How could Sam choose to have her heart broken; picked up, dusted off and broken, how could she bear to feel this agony with Phil time and time again? Would he, if given the chance allow his heart to be broken by Sam time and time again?? After all he loved her so much. So much that it hurt just thinking of her when she wasn't with him, and now she would never be with him again. His eyes left eh suitcase breifly and fell on the bedside drawer. It was hers. She hadn't reached her underwear yet. Concealed underneath the mix of lingere was a small velvet box that he himself had hidden there. He turned his gaze away sickened at the idea of her finding what once would have been an amazing gift.

**Ain't gonna show no  
Weakness  
I'm gonna smile  
And tell the whole world I'm fine  
I'm gonna keep my senses  
But deep down  
When no one can hear me  
Baby I'll be crying for you **

"I never meant to hurt you," She sighed looking up warily her gorgeous eyes searching his face.

Consumed totally with anger for a moment he wanted to shout. How could she beleive that? No if she'd never meant to hurt him she'd have told him outright. Bypassed the humiliation, pain and sorrow. Bypassed the Phil Hunter behind his back as her dirty little secret. How dare she try to fob him of with niceties? Was she going to ask to be friends next? Despite the pain in his heart and chest, the difficulty breathing he needed to shout. Despite his want to let her leave with his dignity still intact it was growing harder to do. She was trying to save herself stress and figths with the age old line,

"I never meant to hurt you,"

It made him sick. Sick to the bone.

"Thats rubbish Sam and you know it," He said coldly. Holding his temper.

"I didn't want to break your heart," She shook her head slightly, silently willing him to stay calm.

"You think alot of yourself," he snorted, even as he said it knowing how pompous and, _phil_ like he sounded. He pulled open the drawer violently pulling out the box and throwing it on the bed.

Her hand went slowly to her mouth in horror. Unable to bear her tears he walked out. Calmly. Dignified. Pride impaired but intact, Partly.

**Why do I love you  
Don't even want to  
Why do I love you like I do   
Like I always do  
You should've told me  
Why did you have to be untrue (love you like I do)  
Why do I love you like I do  
**

He threw a stone into the river fighitng of the tears that threatend him. However as the burning sensation grew unbearable he let them come. Barely hiding his face from passers by. He really, truly loved her. Too much. Memories hit him in waves. Causing pain extra pain almost bringing him to his weak knees. It was almost as if part of him had died, with their romance. What was that lyric in that song? "the love we killed is killing me". That was certaintly true for him.

**Can't go back  
Can't erase  
Baby your smiling face oh no  
I can think of nothing else but you  
Suddenly **

As his knees collapsed and he fell to the ground in sorrow he let the sobs come wracking through his chest uncomfortably loud for a usually public place.

Sam sat on the bed the ring in her hand. Motionless. How could hse have been so cruel? She cheated on him, led him on just to kick him down viciously and all the time he truly loved her, was going to offer her stability, propose. Next to her her phone rang. It stopped revealing 4 missed calls on the screen. Phil. Right now she couldn't speak to him.

He got to his feet wiped his eyes and buried the pain once more. It would take someone alot of prodding and prying ot dig that up again. With one last shuddered breath he dusted down his clothes and slowly returned to the house.

**Why do I love you  
Don't even want to  
Why do I love you like I do   
Like I always do  
You should've told me  
Why did you have to be untrue (love you like I do)  
Why do I love you like I do  
**

After everything, why did he still love her?


End file.
